Lisa, do you hear me? Do you really hear me? I guess this has been a challenge for me my entire life. My mind is constantly on-the-go. It literally never stops unless I am asleep and sometimes not even then. I hear the words and immediately start analyzing. Any information that is given to me goes through a process: What about this? What about that? How does this fit in? How will it work? Although I have learned how to listen and be in the moment with friends when they need me, I am horrible at listening when people are trying to talk to me about me. I’ve heard it from my children, my friends, my parents, my partners and even my counselor. Lisa, do you really hear me?
It comes after comments like, “I truly love you,” or “You are perfect just the way you are.” It comes after comments from my children like, “I am doing the very best I can.” I am so busy trying to figure out how to be better that I don’t focus on how good things are right at this very second.
Not only is this unfortunate for my own health and well-being, it is hard on the people that love me most. It is hard for them to feel validated, to feel like I take their words to heart, as genuine expressions of their feelings. I need to slow down. I need to be in the moment. Just be still and listen.
So, I am going to practice. I’m going to stop, make eye contact, and internalize what people are saying. No more analyzing…just taking it in and taking it for what it is worth. It is so important to hear others. It is so important to hear truths. It is so important not to twist the words around, manipulate them, analyze them, and try to fit them into my own perspective. It is important to hear the words and their true intent. To witness and believe the inner most thoughts of those I love.
If you are like me, maybe you can take some time each day when you work at listening…. To your children, your friends, your family.
Just Stop and Listen.