I have this really sweet friend that I text with. We always send each other inspirational things and talk about our lives. One day a few months ago, I shared something I was going through with this friend via text. She never texted back. I was hurt and angry. I wondered what I had done to offend my friend. I couldn’t understand why she suddenly abandoned me. I thought about it a lot over the next few days. I re-evaluated our friendship. Finally, I decided that even though she let me down, it was worth it to let it go and resume our friendship. I got on my phone to draft her a light, fun text and wouldn’t you know, I realized I had never actually hit send on my first text! All this drama I created in my mind. My friend had never even received my text, so she couldn’t respond!
I started thinking about the times in my life that I might inadvertently let people down without even knowing it. I’m sure I’ve said or failed to say something that has deeply affected another person. I may never know the pain that I’ve caused without meaning to. On the other hand, I’m sure there are times when I make a world of difference unintentionally. I may change someone’s day with something I never even realized I said.
The point is, we are all starring in our own personal dramedies. When someone is cranky, or tired, or sad, they may say things without knowing their affect. I work with the public. I often find that when someone is not their usual kind self, there is a root to it. If I take the extra effort to connect with them and ask about their day, their mood turns around. We all affect each other in ways big and small. If we connect, if we talk with kindness, we may find that the person isn’t just a crank. They have joys and challenges just like us. I always say that I believe that all people desire to be seen and appreciated. The next time someone affects your day negatively, give them grace. Realize that it might not have anything to do with you. See them. Appreciate them. Life is hard. Let’s reach out to each other!
2 thoughts on “Blog: It’s Not You It’s Me”
My thought about this: Sometimes we say something very innocently that may trigger a memory of an old wound and the person responds in a way that seems completely inappropriate to us. Remember to always give the benefit of the doubt and assume the best. Or don’t assume at all.
Great advice, don’t assume!