Honesty is the bare minimum necessity in any friendship/relationship. It is part of a good foundation, along with love and respect. But honesty looks many different ways. There is the honesty when you are asked a direct question. There is the honesty in your actions when no one is watching. And there is the honesty in being true to yourself, voicing your thoughts, feelings and values, not allowing yourself to shrink into something you are not just to please others.
Honesty is not passive! It is something you must actively engage in. You cannot just sit idly by, not voicing your truth….. Like the Rush song Free Will, “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”
Honesty is necessary so others understand where they stand with you and where you stand on issues. Honesty is kind. Honesty allows people to decide if they should or should not remain in a relationship or friendship with you.
Sometimes the hardest thing to do is be honest with yourself. Take a real hard look at yourself in the mirror and be honest about your own thoughts, wishes, values and desires. Many of us have been taught to continuously take the feelings of others into consideration and not to offend. Yes, it is good to consider the feelings of others, but it is also our duty to be honest with our own values, thoughts and feelings. It is sometimes a precarious tightrope we walk, but it is necessary to stay in check. We also, may fall victim to a life time of lies we believe about ourselves. I am ugly, fat, stupid, not worthy of love. This is when the long hard look in the mirror may take some time and work uncovering our true core self.
Let’s spend some time this week practicing honesty in all areas of our lives. Report back with things you learned.