From Elaina: Have you ever had a time in your life when you decided to change directions or make a decision and you call all your friends seeking advice? Sometimes, the advice people give doesn’t feel right to you. Maybe you had a direction that you were thinking of going and everyone says to go the other way. What should you do? Follow your instincts? Trust your loved ones? Call 20 more people to break the tie? Honestly, it depends on how people are giving their advice.
We all are such unique, individual creatures with many different storylines and experiences. Our hopes and dreams change all the time depending on our goals. We each have a constantly changing list of what brings us joy, what we can tolerate, and what are deal breakers for us. It doesn’t mean that my list is good and your list is bad, it’s just different.
When we give advice, we should remember that we shouldn’t answer from our own list. It’s a good idea to ask the person what outcome they desire. What is an absolute yes, what is an absolute no for THEM, not us. Ask questions more than saying what you would do.
When we’re the one asking for advice, we should have an idea of what we want for the situation. We should turn inward and decide what our goals are. When people offer advice that goes against our list, we should recognize that they are answering from their own list. We should remember that we all speak from our own story and that one size does not fit all.