Boundaries

From Lisa’s daughter, Hannah: Boundaries in our day to day lives are usually meant to keep things separate, for example, blocking oncoming traffic from crossing over the median. But boundaries are actually very useful tools we can use in our personal lives too. The function of a boundary in your life is the same as it is on the road. The boundary is set there to divide you from the peoples around you. This could be dividing your likes and interests from those of your significant others. This could also be used to protect your morals and views from the harsh world around you.

At the beginning of a relationship, most people like to be introduced to some of their significant others’ favorite activities, or favorite places to go. This can look like going to a hole in the wall restaurant together, or even learning how to play golf. Whatever the event, this can be used as a way to bond a couple in the beginning of their relationship. Couples also often mirror each other’s actions often resulting in them “being the same person”. What people don’t know about these fun and exciting feelings is that they can be very dangerous.

Getting to know someone in a romantic or platonic way should look like two people learning about each other, but continuing to keep their own interests, and their own morals beliefs. Often times what happens in new relationships is that the couple will lose themselves in the relationship and forget to still do the things that make them happy. Drastically changing your life for someone can leave you lost and confused if the relationship ends. Speaking from a psychological standpoint, the best thing to do in a relationship is start slow. Keep your own interests and your own friends, but every once in a while go see the person you wish to pursue a relationship with. Do not budge on your own views/beliefs. Although it is healthy to be able to see different sides, you should still stay true to yourself. Lastly, if this person does something that you would not be okay with before you met them, do not make an exception for them. There are plenty of other people on the planet who will have more similar understandings of what you need from this relationship.


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