From Elaina: All relationships, including friendships, go through phases. There is the first spark, where everything is fun and exciting. This is the phase where you can’t believe how much you agree on everything. You love being around “your person” all the time! Eventually, that initial spark wears down in almost every relationship. Things get a bit more comfortable. It’s still your person, but in a quieter way. Then, in long term relationships, it becomes about commitment and deciding to stay together. Most of us recognize this pattern in friendships. We get to the point where we decide that this friendship is or is not worth our effort. In order to continue the friendship, we recognize that we need to sometimes work at carving time out for each other and finding ways to connect.
All love is a decision to continue our commitment. For romantic love, making a commitment means that we are saying we will stick it out through the fun times, the boring times, the hard times. I tell people all the time that you can meet the right person, but it’s not the right time for you. It can also be the right time, but the wrong person. What makes it the right person at the right time? The answer is that you are BOTH ready to stick with each other. The initial fun spark ebbs and flows in relationships. I think that too many people confuse that spark with love and continue to chase it. True love is a decision you make every day. Only you and your partner (or friend or family members) can decide if you are ready to commit to each other.
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